How to help your kids learn to serve

Who was the most influential person in your life, as a mom?

Was it your own mom? An older friend or relative? A teacher?

For me, I was blessed to have my own mom model parenting--not perfectly, but certainly meaningfully. She modeled service to our family and to others. As the pastor’s wife, she was constantly having people over or counseling someone on the phone. She led the PTA. She exuded enthusiasm and joy in life. And, by the way, she loved to read. If the door to the small downstairs room we called 'the den' was closed, we knew she was having a moment to herself to either take a nap or read one of her beloved romance novels!  

As parents, all of us are actually influential leaders. We are pretty unrecognized in the culture, but with or without social media, we are the influencers. Leaders lead. Leaders serve. Leaders model. We are highly influential within our families, hopefully for their good. The best leaders serve those around them. They aren’t flashy or demand the spotlight. They don’t push. They serve and they model. You as a parent do the little things no one notices to serve your family. Simon Sinek says it well:

“...leadership isn’t about you. It’s about the people you serve. It’s about the legacy you leave, not in headlines or awards, but in the lives you touch. The best leaders I know are students of leadership. They’re always learning, always growing, always looking for ways to help others rise. They know there’s no such thing as an expert leader—just like there’s no such thing as a perfect parent. We’re all figuring it out as we go.” (Simon Sinek- For full article, go here.) 

How do you create a home where you cultivate serving?

Serving is cultivated when you:

1. Narrate when you serve, for the purpose of teaching your kids: “I’m doing your laundry because I love you and it’s important and healthy for you to have clean clothes.” (Alternate explanation: “no one in this house wants everyone to be stinky!”) "I love you and when we love, we do things for others."
2. Praise them for their service: “Wow, I see you taking your dishes to the sink. That service helps everyone in our family and shows a lot of love for others.”
3. Serve together: Does someone need a meal? Let kids help make it or pack it. Take them along, if the timing is right, to deliver it, or let them make a simple card to go with it.

Want some powerful read aloud stories about serving others? 

Here are a few chapter books that encourage having a heart for others:

1.  Freckles by Gene Stratton Porter
2.  Corrie Ten Boom by Janet and Geoff Benge (and many missionary stories in this series)
3. The Long Winter by Laura Ingalls Wilder
4.  God’s Smuggler by Brother Andrew

Reading aloud together and then talking about the chapter is a powerful way to get kids to empathize. It can go a long way when teaching kids to serve others and live unselfishly.

So be encouraged. Galatians 6:9 applies here:  Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up. You are leaders growing other leaders, parents. Thank you for serving the next generation, and for teaching them how to lead by serving!