Helping kids not to be afraid of messing up

I ran across this quote by cartoonist Scott Adams this week: “Creativity is allowing yourself to make mistakes. Art is knowing which ones to keep.” We learn quite young to try not to mess up. We want to please others, we don’t want to be punished, we want to be the best in the class. It is hard to turn off all of those motivations when it comes to being creative. 

Art is about learning a skill as well as being creative, so there is legitimacy in trying to follow instructions well. But how to balance learning to be creative with fear of not messing up?

Last week we were talking about fear of messing up (FOMU) and how powerfully that fear affects all of us when it comes to creating art. Did you know that you can encourage your kids and yourselves to quiet that fear of messing up so creativity--and art--can flourish?

Here are some simple suggestions to combat the fear of making mistakes while trying practicing creativity in art. This applies when learning any new skill, whether you are a child or an adult. 

First: Do the thing more than once. 

Recently I tried a new creative project-- needle felting. My first attempt by myself was to try a little yellow Easter chick. It was….hilarious. I giggled, showed my husband, who thought the wings looked like ears. (He’s not wrong) Then I told myself I was still learning and I wanted to try again.  My daughter, granddaughters and I tried the next day. Needle felting still wasn’t super easy or polished, but we had fun and I know that I’ll get more comfortable as I keep practicing. Also I kind of loved how funny my chick looked-it made me smile.  Could I become a needle felting artist? Maybe, with time, practice and passion…I could create that kind of art. Can I enjoy the learning process and the joy of creating, right now? Yes! Does it matter if I mess up? Does it negate the whole experience? Absolutely not!
Second: Talk to yourself or your child in these ways as you are learning and practicing: 

1. “It is fun to learn a new skill. I’m noticing this feels strange at first, but as I get more used to it, I’m feeling more comfortable.”
2. “I’m going to keep trying this a few more times. I’m guessing it will get easier!”
3. “This first try is fun! (Or hilarious, or frustrating, or silly ... .fill in the emotion) I’m going to try again." 

Third: Practice drawing with different drawing supplies: 

 For example, your children could draw a palm tree with crayons, pencil, pen, or  marker. Practice one way: draw a palm tree with crayons. Combining this strategy with the first suggestion of practicing more than once, you could then ask your child to draw the same tree with markers. Then suggest drawing an island full of those trees with pencils or gel pens or whatever they haven’t yet tried. By repeating the drawing again and again, they gradually feel less pressure to get it right that one time. Fear of messing up gets forgotten as your kids focus on creating lots of ways of creating. Even better, they often innovate naturally as they get curious about different ways to make the tree. You might tell them at that point, “I wonder if you’d like to try the tree in a different color now?” Or, “What else could be in your drawing?” “What would happen if you drew it bigger?” “What would happen if you drew some of the trees very small?”

Fourth: Keep going until you like your creation.

I have a friend who is a professional artist. She has a saying: “Work it till you love it.” Sometimes with kids in class, I say, “ What would you like to do to make this so you’ll love it?” Very rarely do we start over. Usually they think about it, and then try something creative to incorporate or change what they considered a “mistake”, and they keep going--working it until they love it. 

Fifth: Empathize with a book character.

The book The Most Magnificent Thing, by Ashley Spires, is a great catalyst for conversation about failing (that isn't really failing, because of all the learning and growing) while we are trying something new on the way to discovering something wonderful.

I sure hope this was helpful to someone today. One of the absolute joys of creating art with children is observing their creations when they are not afraid of messing up.